HIGHLIGHTS AND EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

15 May HIGHLIGHTS AND EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

THE POWER OF HIGHLIGHTS FOR EMOTIONAL WELLNESS TRANSCRIPT

AN AMAZING DISCUSSION BETWEEN AMANDA DOUNIS FROM THE POSITIVE THINKING CLINIC AND JO DEVIN AND CATH SHAW FROM POSITIVE LIVING SKILLS.

LETS TALK HIGHLIGHTS

Following is a transcript, but for the true account please view the recording.

Hello I’m Amanda Dounis this from the Positive Thinking Clinic you’re about to see a fantastic conversation between me and Catherine and Jo from Positive Living Skills.

Positive Living Skills is an amazing organization.

What we’ve decided to do is put a number of videos together just to spread the word so that educators, children, interested persons, parents,… anybody, gets to know what it is that Positive Living Skills can offer and how schools and early childhood services like the ones that I’m involved with, or my positive thinking clinic.

What we can do together as a team so that we can contribute to the emotional wellness for kids.

Today we speak specifically about one of the units and it’s called highlights. And it’s amazing what we can do to bring highlights into our voices into our minds into our experiences.

Right at the end of the video you get to find out more about myself who I am where I’m from and how to contact me and a little bit more or a lot more about positive living skills how to contact them how they formed their company and what they can do. So please watch right to the end and you’ll get absolutely all the information that you need. Enjoy.

THE CONVERSATION

[Disclaimer: I have decided that who says what is not important, rather the conversation content is important and for a true account of who says what, please see the video].

Okay so here I am Amanda Dounis this from the Positive Thinking Clinic and we have Catherine Shaw and Jo Devin from Positive Living Skills and it’s so great to have you ladies here being able to have this conversation with me today. 

Thank you so much. 

So I’m really excited that we work as a team as much as possible and I know you guys do great for children of all ages and and schools childcare centres plus schools public schools and the older kids as well. And the whole point of today is that we’ve had you guys license us as positive living skills childcare centres for a number of years now.

And so I really see the benefit and I’m thinking let’s get the message out there and so that it’s not so overwhelming with information for our listeners at least I thought to myself. 

One of the topics that we do because you guys have introduced us to highlights. … focused relaxation cooperation and self-esteem and everything that you’ve taught us to do with our children has done nothing but excel their emotional wellness and I’m really grateful for your program.

It’s great. And we love hearing that. I’m so glad it’s really true. And I thought to myself Let’s take the opportunity today so that we can speak about just one of your units and it’s called highlights and our listeners right now can be other organizations. Any organization actually parents it could be interested children interested teachers and I guess the audience can just be absolutely anybody who’s interested in the emotional wellness of our kids and how it can be promoted or extended.

So I’m just gonna go ahead and have I’m going to read one of your paragraphs on highlights and it reads as this: the learning experiences within highlights teach children to make connections with positive things that exist or occur daily within themselves and others and in the world around them and to harness the positive emotions that flow children have the opportunity to build skills to look for noticed and fully appreciate the simple moments that encourage a sense of joy in their lives and build positive associations and relationships through highlights that have the opportunity to build a skill set to recall and develop highlights for a positive mood shift.

Now if I’m not wrong …even apply to adults. Oh absolutely. All of us. Everybody yeah that’s it. Just because you know according to neuroscientists that we’re all hardwired as human beings for negative thinking and so being able to focus on the positive and in any situation whatever will be is always going to help us.

And it just really does build those neural pathways for you know for positive thinking and positive focus. That’s so true. It’s like focusing on a harder focusing on a positive or at least moving away from what we interpret it as the negative. And I guess that’s our influence and how what our role is as role models or providing teachable moments for our kids when there’s an experience like that to demonstrate to them oh well let’s look for the highlight.

Or to ask them what was your highlight today. Just it doesn’t even have to be a negative doesn’t it. To have that conversation just to let them retreat from their hard wire. What was your whole life or what’s the highlight out of that. Absolutely. And the thing is is there’s so many highlights in every single day and what and most of these simple joys are these actually free to all of us.

Most of the things that fall into the category of highlights can be huge things that the littlest most simplest things can be the most pleasurable things and they just stay the smile. You know the connection we’re having now. Why that light falls into a room the way that you know if you’ve got a pet you pet that pet. The feeling of that so it’s very sensory. It’s also realizing that we have the capacity concepts in the things that are inside of us the things that we experience the things that we experience with other people.

And there’s seven sources of highlights according to Dr. arterial accuse our program mentors it is everything from you know personally discovering something achieving something play games and sports and all those little things and we’ve got these little highlight clickers in the program. So what they do is they’re a tactile way for any of us to actually notice.

Remember Count Me In The Moment of the highlights the more in the moment we can be with it the more of that neuro pathway or when a doctor recants and calls it experience dependent neuroplasticity which is a bit of a tongue twister. What that is is the hole that we’re experiencing those things and actually noticing that we’re experiencing and enjoying them. And what we’re going to be able to easily find those all those positive things on another day or so many that we can having the one that.

That’s right. And like you said those seven I’ve got them in front of me because we love them to. And let me just call them out. And I guess we can have a long conversation about them as well. One of them is positive human interaction. Like you said it’s all free. It’s available to us. It’s for any age you have any body and a positive interactions could be as simple as just commenting acknowledging giving a hug.

Doing a small act of kindness. And whilst we think well isn’t that just something we’re doing we know it’s not something that we put into our model to reinforce that it’s a highlight. And that is something that some adults have to relearn. That’s it. Isn’t it wonderful that we can put that straight into our system for our young children to be to become familiar with it and consider it as one of the highlights.

Well exactly not even just sharing that having a laugh an edge you know even as adults you know we’re having a joke with a friend that somehow I might be you know it’s just that there all the time. Just very simple. I make it over the last few months but it’s been super challenging for everybody. And a lot of people have been more separated from the people they laugh and they would have liked to or the people that they have relationships with. So that sort of thing even connecting over the camera like we are today.

I mean it’s it’s not the same as having a hug but it’s still a positive connection and that’s a lot of the feedback that we’re getting from the schools that are implementing positive living skills is it that really supported those kids when they weren’t able to go to school. They were connecting with highlights and talking about the highlights with their classmates and teachers to help them just find the positives that was still in the days that were different today than it had before. No not a site.

That’s right. And even our young ones in our centers we’ve taught them to go home and teach their parents what the highlights are too. Because you’re different. Yeah. So we meet we deliver the message somehow anyhow and then there’s also the positive interaction with nature. That’s another highlight. Hundred percent. So we’re so blessed with what’s around us.

So even if it’s just the blue sky you know like the shape of the clouds it’s it it’s just there with us. It’s fun also scientifically proven that the more we can spend time in nature the more that we are tapped into our own capacity and just we are more likely to notice the positive things just like breathing the fresh air and surrounding ourselves eating for five minutes as we speak of that.

For me that takes me to an outdoor runner and I that’s my most favorite part of the day with someone would think. But doesn’t that hurt. It’s a long distance runner. What about the pain. But you know when I just enough got this beautiful track that goes through just pushes and this is you birds that live in there that you don’t see a kilometre earlier or a kilometre after I live there or this time or the clouds or the breeze or I smell it when the grass is cut because I go through the reserves and it’s just that connection with nature for me is what makes me sad.

See, my run was beautiful was it or was it the scenery. Doesn’t matter, it was a highlight wasn’t it. And that’s what we do with our kids. We take them outside. We give them opportunity to play with dirt to feel and to smell it engages the senses that automatically becomes a highlight. It encourages conversation. It encourages a mindfulness activity. So emotional wellness just with what they have could be just water sanitation 100 percent well done well done on all that.

That’s exactly what we want to say yeah. And then there’s the positive connections through playing and games and sports and all the physical activities. And let’s just say we’ve all got to get our sillies out somehow. But are these feasible or are they just our way of disconnecting and finding different types of hotlines getting out of their own skin and just being creative with reform teams or we just we’re just playing.

I know it’s so beneficial to do our minds and and the movement. So the play is one thing and that just the movement just processes any kind of stress we feel top or just yet as you say get yourselves out. Just it’s just moving and and you know possible loss today.

So you know if the little kids again and their kids can get up and have a five minute movement to music even have insisted that there is a goal is very very popular many things is possible we’ve even recreated Placerville as well so that me my personality. And yes.

And we often asked for advice and sometimes we do out we go to a possible our positive personal accomplishments which is one of the Sevens and so what I like about that part of the unit is that some people doesn’t matter any age. Kids older kids teens or adults sometimes don’t recognize their own personal accomplishments. I mean our role is to say well you just achieved that.

That’s an accomplishment even if it was a decision that’s a kid an accomplishment isn’t it. Or to say something or to create something or to discover something or to the way he feels so it’s a matter of us using the language to introduce to children. That’s a highlight. You had a positive personal accomplishment. Yes. It’s so important for young people to lose the comparisons and be themselves.

And also just be their personal best. You know that’s really what we want young people to achieve is to try to do the things that make them happy and to just do their best in that in that field and that’s possible sense for that too personal. Yes. So it’s about just being the best I can be and what I’d like to do. And that is a personal accomplishment in itself.

So that’s extremely important especially when I’m in my clinic and I have some of the older kids who haven’t had the opportunity to be exposed to positive personal accomplishments whether it’s through your program or not what happens unfortunately is a lack of self-esteem a lack of confidence they had to begin to strive or hedge towards the need for perfectionism or or achievements that are unrealistic in expectations was positive.

Personal accomplishments are real and they are not exceeding expectations. All we ever need is our personal best. Right. And so when I am that frame of thinking they are good. They are grounded. They are confident. And it’s not I’m not a big thing about confidence I’m a big thing about courage because it’s the courage giving something a tried that can lead to you feeling that sense of confidence but to let them know and to carry with them.

That’s personal accomplishment. Then I think that they’re on the right track. It’s it’s a matter of keeping them in that way before they lose that’s when they lose that that they begin to experience some negativity that’s right because that you shy away from learning anything new. They shy away from putting themselves out there. And so yeah encouraging them that every time they do try something new or step out learn learning something new and that’s possible.

You know everything takes practice so you can’t do something that there’s time and know it. So the fact that you’ve tried it that’s a highlight. You know just bringing back all the time that acknowledgement is so important. I always like to use the example and I sometimes say this to adults even for resilience. There was a time that you couldn’t walk and you would climb up on furniture and fall back down and you could get back up and falling back down because you were learning to walk and you probably did that 100 times but you never said oh this is too hard I’m giving up I’m never going to try to walk.

Exactly. You just kept trying and you just did it. So let’s move to the next one positive personal discovery your creativity. What can you say about that. Well I think when we when we activate our creativity you’ve got that chance to be doing that sort of flow. You know we hopefully you can focus on Terry’s work or flow. It’s often called when we’re creative.

We’re using that other side of our brain where you know to create something is to put something there that wasn’t there before. So that’s also a personal accomplishment. And it just touched people into their capabilities. And everybody has the capability to be creative. There’s a lot of people who go I’m not a very creative person yet they solve problems all the time. And I find new ways to do things. So I think everybody has a level of creativity and it really helps to tap into that knowledge that in yourself as well.

And our imagination like the kids have wonderful imagination so they’re creative and I probably don’t even realize they’re creative in their mind. You know what dreams like the imagination things that come out with that. That’s the creativity that yeah and what you said earlier on is spot on. It helps with problem solving skills. And so we really try to get kids and adults and educators to be as creative as possible.

And what else can we say. And if you stop that what else can it. What else can you turn that into or will do a different path. But even for ourselves if we’re always striving the same path. And we spoke about our neural pathways to take a different route. You’re taking a look for what go a different direction. If kids are sitting there all the time sit over there now so we can encourage them by not directing them. Just encourage them.

So it’s like they’re doing it on their own so that we can show them that is also part of being flexible mindset rather than being so narrow minded. So it’s really really cool to discover just creativity and just be anything and just be okay with mistakes. Mistakes are my favorite things in the child case. I tell our girls all the time make mistakes in front of the kids and show them how you take it lightly and show them how you get out of it because you’re good.

The older… unfortunately make mistakes and they stuck. They didn’t give up. They don’t do this and they it just snowballs. But if you do a mistake and say oh my goodness I did a mistake how funny is that. What did I learn from that and just show that you can move out of that and that it’s acceptable. Make mistakes and be proud of them as well. Absolutely. Yes. It’s the only way you learn anything. And you know in any area of life at any age is to is to learn by.

And then you find another .… It’s something that you really want to do. You find that you find a different life as you said a different route. Yes. And from all the sex to something. Yes. And we that I have to take what you. But we’re still making no. You know I said I don’t go write all of my love. I’m going to write now because you know it’s still June July. Yeah. I don’t know when I get the ones that saying don’t make the same mistake twice.

Yes we do. Yes. You know it is what it is. And that’s like I threw. And what about let’s move to positive physical sensations yes. Well that was always so it’s saying before things like you know just the feel of a warm bath on a cool not the you know the cold glass of water on a hot day things that we take for granted if we really experience them and they say all the things we can save them he had taste and touch.

Those are the things that we can savor in fold up in different ways to really connect with ourselves that actually helps us feel calm as well. That’s a really good way to be calm when you’re not feeling calm is to them all of a sudden connect your senses. So I in here right for the little kids like me saying taking them down feeling the dirt and feeling sand between your toes or all of those things and there things that we sort of as we grow older take for granted that the things that we can come back to and really you know experience.

I think that’s a really important highlight because it’s too easy to get stuck in our own minds. And even kids do this they forget that I can go over there and experience with my hands and my other senses my setting because they’re busy with their mind and if they get older they get better at being busy with their minds. So we need to give them opportunities to keep experiencing this and not think that it’s less important because it’s actually really important.

Even I myself will take off my shoes so that I can walk on the grass bare foot … instead of yes. Instead of being in my shoes. Yes. Yes. And that actually is grounding you know that that grounds us when we need to get out of our heads and more into our bodies and hearts and those sorts of things. So you’re right. It’s not it looks like we left the best for last. I shouldn’t even say it.

That was so biased of me. But it’s a really nice one. Pure relaxation number seven joyful moments of pure uninterrupted silence. When you feel calm tranquil rested and peaceful you know it’s so I’ve been talking like forever. I’m not that old really but up for a long time all day I’m sorry. Yeah. So we’ll watch the kids go to bed.

Back. Back when I was 15 talking it was like OK that’s the next routine was now. It’s like let’s lay down and sit and we have the conversations or or we stare at the ceilings and we talk about things and it’s like we engage in the relaxation part. You know you’re off to sleep. For example you play with silence or we create the bubbles around us calm and when if we’re not relaxed I can find had become like you know distinguish between the two or we give ourselves questions that we can answer on the inside.

So way we can relax can be outside. He can be sitting on a chair doesn’t have to be in my. So I just use that as an hundred. Yeah. Yeah. And breathing is such an important part of relaxation as well. Yeah. That controlled breathing and the kids learning to be able to take their breaths. And it’s good for all of the younger kids to have those you know this guided relaxation tracks that. Yes.

And that helps me to think sometimes when I go to meditate you know it’s not easy to slow you busy mind. So you know you can do it I mean does it to a sound.

I sometimes choose a guided and relaxation to take me into that space and then that little bell rings and then you’ve got sort of six to 10 minutes of nothingness where you’re just focusing on your breathing and try to come back to maybe a word or a mantra that you’re remembering the little kids taking them on a journey with some of them they go on a Star Trek voyage and they imagine their Spaghetti Toes is cute because I imagine their hearts skip spaghetti that’s not cooked I mean they imagine they fluffy floppy warm spaghetti on a plate that’s being cooked and can practice with their bodies what tension and relaxation feels like.

So it’s quite frustrating that as we get older because we’re so busy and we show Ray rushing from one place to the next is to take those times to actually and not just relaxation anything I’m just going to sit and watch a movie in front of the TV which is relaxing. Those extra relaxation songs we actually not interrupting in line with anything but you know you’re floating thoughts and trying to bring yourself to that as little as five minutes. Absolutely.

And it’s really good that we’ve got the opportunity to teach the kids to do it all by themselves. Sure whether to say well let’s try this let’s try that but we give them the skills for them to practice doing it all by themselves. They know. Like for example imagine the hot chocolate blow on it so can cool down because we do want the longer our external longer. More important than that in here. Oh yeah. You know that luck again. Yeah. Yeah.

Or you do your favorite shake with your finger and like it’s you come up rounding them and it’s just it becomes their whole life because it’s their own resources they use it reducing their meals they come up with their own ideas that can be creative. They could do it when ever they want they could do it on the hand they can do it in the air and they don’t have to do it. You say it they might want to calm down at home because somebody is annoyed them or they’re having whatever’s going on for them and they say right.

Because if we practice these relaxation skills when we’re calm what does our unconscious mind too late to retrieve it as a skill when you’re having that little hissy fit tantrum. The time to learn these things is not when we’re emotionally aroused. We can’t remove it because our logical mind is not interested. We’re busy being emotional. So these are opportunities to have these highlights and therefore learning the skills well when they need them they retrieve them.

So important. Yeah. And as well with the kids. Again the visualization in here in regards to relaxation within the program. We do the special price relaxation so the kids you know manage to take themselves their own special place that they could go to in their mind that you know if they want to it’s just yeah I always think that’s really important because kids just have such great imaginations and they could just go there just like that.

And it’s all about imagination or just read something this comment. Some people come or some kids any age come and say oh my imagination is like my worst enemy but oh that’s also me. It means it’s your best asset. So if you have enough to imagine something a little bit negative. Well let’s use your imagination and think of something more positive. Oh it’s the most creative part of them.

You know it’s absolutely vital that they change those channels and take themselves somewhere different for sure. Absolutely. I think this has been really insightful. I’m really glad we’ve had the opportunity to tell anybody out there that’s listening or interested how we can use highlights every single day early childhood. Older kids adults. And it’s just a really good way that you’ve been able to put this together in your program for us positive living skills.

Thank you so much for today. Is there anything else that you wanted our listeners to know. Oh just thanks for the opportunity for us to chat to you there is just obviously if anybody wants to learn more about what we’re doing we’ve got the Web site and those sorts of things are positively skills dot com that I you which is just the one that I would love to connect we just we’re just so passionate about supporting communities to learn to help kids and educators and families to learn these skills so that we can all but it’s a good reminder for us to talking about it isn’t it.

That’s right. So you’re absolutely. Thank you so much Amanda. It’s great and you know we love how passionate you all are within your centre and services you know with what you’re doing with the kids is really great. Yeah. Thank you. Thinking clinic. Yes. Thanks for having us. All right. I’ll see you next time. OK.

ABOUT AMANDA DOUNIS

And a warm welcome to todays listeners 

Allow me to introduce myself as the host of todays episode.

My name is Amanda Dounis

I am the founder of The Positive Thinking Clinic located in Wolli Creek Sydney

Here at the Positive Thinking Clinic I see clients of all ages, I see individuals, couples, families and small groups.

I conduct psychotherapy and use a variety of modalities delivered through counselling techniques and hypnotherapy.

I am a professional counsellor, clinical hypnotherapist and strategic psychotherapist, early childhood teacher and NLP master practitioner.

To learn more about what I do and what I offer visit my website www.positivethinkingclinic.com.au

The easiest way to connect with me on social media is to search my name Amanda Dounis or my clinic name Positive Thinking Clinic.  You may also access my social media at the bottom of my website.

I am the author of My coping skills handbook: aimed at kids 8-12 years of age. 

I have also turned this into an online course.

I have a range of podcasts that can be found on 

In addition to the Positive Thinking Clinic I am the owner of 4 early learning centres. I am passionate about quality care and emotional wellness of all ages. I believe we set the foundation for emotional wellness from a very young age. My early learning centres are licensed as Positive Living Skills services.

I also have an Emotional Wellness & Kids fb group

One of my greatest hobbies is learning. I think I am always enrolled in a variety of courses, no matter how small.  I enjoy adding to my skill set.  As an integrative therapist I learn diverse skills and select the best fit for any situation.

If you wonder if I have any other hobbies, I am also into fitness.  I have run a number of marathons including 2 ultra marathons.

So that’s me in a nutshell.   

If you wanted to get in touch, you can use the contact form on my website positivethinkingclinic.com.au 

I would love to hear from you.

Signing out, and moving forward, you’re listening to Amanda Dounis.

Positive Living Skills

www.positivelivingskills.com.au 

Cath Shaw:

Positive Living Skills was founded on Cath Shaw’s lived experience of anxiety. In my mid 40’s and at my lowest point, all of a sudden I had a moment of complete clarity and realised I was in serious trouble and realised the impact I was having on my family.  Living in rural NSW at the time presented a myriad of challenges in seeking support and I made the decision to take responsibility for myself, learn about my mind and to find a way forward.  As soon as I understood that there were a series of skills and strategies that I could learn and apply to support myself, I learned them, applied them then shared them with my family and others around me and I could see the impact these skills were having. I considered how different my life could have been had I known these skills much earlier in life.  I then researched how social and emotional learning was taught in schools I discovered there were no specific programs and teachers were not trained to develop lessons in this area and I felt compelled to do something about it.  I connected with Dr. Terry Orlick a world leader in the field of mental training for excellence, I then connected with Jo and together we developed the Positive Living Skills Wellbeing Initiative and our programs are currently in over 70 Education sites in Australia and I remain passionate and committed to see children learn these skills so that our next generation are empowered to support themselves emotionally and have the resilience to manage life’s challenges.

Jo Devin

After a 20+ year successful career in corporate, I found myself at 40+ and facing life without children of my own, a reality I didn’t expect when I was younger. When I finished School my mum said to me, ‘You’ll finish School, you’ll get a job, you’ll meet a man, you’ll get married and you’ll have children. All in one sentence and that sounded ok to me, but life didn’t happen like that. I had a yearning for more meaning and purpose in my life.  A lot of meaning and purpose came when I became the primary support person for my sister who experienced a major stroke in 2008 which left her unable to walk or talk. Helping her literally get back on her feet and regain her independence was one of the most challenging and rewarding things I’ve ever done. I was also seeing so many people around me struggling with mental health issues and I wanted to help. I started learning about how my mind worked and studied counselling, life coaching and neurolinguistic programming, and I completed 12 months as a Lifeline Telephone counsellor and my whole perspective on mental illness and suicide changed.  All this learning led me to Cath and her work with Positive Living Skills. I wanted to be part of something that can leave a legacy for future generations so young people can learn the essential skills that can help them feel empowered and live life to their personal potential no matter what their circumstances. 

There are 6 core concepts in the Positive Living Skills Preschool and Primary School programs:

Highlights, Feelings, Focus, Relaxation, Cooperation and Self Esteem (and another 6 concepts in the Primary Extension program for Yrs 3-6 (Appreciation, Communication, Choice, Solutions, Leadership and Potential).

IF we look at the 6 core concepts from a Problem/Solution approach:

Amanda Dounis

Positive Thinking Clinic

1/7 Magdalene Terrace

Wolli Creek, 2205

0458 850 850

amanda@positivethinkingclinic.com.au

www.positivethinkingclinic.com.au

It is important to know that resources are available if you are experiencing anxiety , and exploring other websites, such as mindaustralia, and headspace.  

I welcome you to visit my podcast to learn about anxiety basics.

In any emergency you can always reach out to lifeline.

Help is also available for kids, and support for families too.

You may find my Coping Skills Handbook a great resource.  It teaches kids how to cope with everyday challenges using a simple C.O.P.E. formula.

You can find out more about me on natural therapy pages or psychology today

I am a level 3 member of the Australian Counselling Association and am a member of the Hypnotherapy Council of Australia

Here is a short clip on FAQ at Positive Thinking Clinic https://youtu.be/GNWaRVsC-OU

Ways that Positive Thinking Clinic can help you https://youtu.be/m0z-f0PSQNM