SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

SIBLING RIVALRY

SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

On sibling rivalry.  Good, evil, or neutral. I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

Do you leave your stories in the past or do you bring them into the future?

Do you ever wonder why… Siblings who are raised similar to other families often have the ability to turn out totally different. Family dynamics also differ. But what is the true difference?  What determines the difference? I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

AN INTERESTING QUESTION

When families are brought up in the same socioeconomic status, similar geographical areas, same time periods, and yet the siblings do not get along. They may despise each other, wish for the worst in each other, simply not care.

YOU ARE JUST AN ENEMY:SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

They can see each other as absolute enemies. I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

A STORY…I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

Let me tell you a story. There is a family that I know where the parents did the best that they knew to raise their children.

The father wanted to provide and yes he made mistakes. There were times in his life just like there are times in everybody’s life, that he made wrong decisions. But did it make him an evil person. Not necessarily.  Infact, no.

I’ve not come across one single person who hasn’t made a wrong decision. I know most definitely it does not make them evil. I myself have made many wrong decisions and that’s because there are so many decisions that you can make for any one circumstance. 

Who’s to know, which is right, and what is right today may be wrong yesterday and might be wrong tomorrow.  I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

BUT LATER ON…

We are often encouraged to be flexible in our mindsets. Yet when we are not flexible in our decision making process it may cost us dearly. Why is it that one action that you take today may come back to bite you in years to come.

YOU HAVE THE POWER IN YOUR OWN DECISIONS: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

Why is it that if you have the opportunity to make one wrong into a right after you know very well that your one decision, once upon a time costed family health, family wellness, family justice, and family happiness…Why is it so easy for some to repeat the same pattern? I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

BEING CURIOUS

I’m not asking this question to seek an answer. I’m asking this question to announce my own curiosity if a family has for example three children. And there is one point in time where all three children celebrate an event with laughter and dance, and eventually history will sow that this falls apart. Who is responsible? What makes it stop?

BEHAVIOUR: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

And how should we behave? Why is it, that one sibling only concerns himself with money. Where does the greed come from? Was he born with it. Was it learned? How good he can become at taking and stealing?

ON FAIRNESS

Why is it that he gets away with it? Who is it that supports him? Why does one sibling observe wrongdoing and sit quietly? How we is it that another sibling copes so well? I hear that knowledge is power.  So what is it that she knows, I wonder? I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

EMOTIONS

But to have control of your own emotions and to be in control of the way you decide to allocate them. This is the turning point. One person can lose their wallet and this can ruin their day their week and the year. Another person can lose their wallet and it becomes an inconvenience of 2 hours and then their day continues. Their week continues and so does the year. 

Now this does not mean that the person who lost their wallet cares, and the one that copes well did not care. They both very much care. But what was it that helped one to move forward and still to continue. I guess it’s some skills that we acquire whether through practice or through learning, and lessons.

PEOPLE CHANGE: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

Through natural ability I believe we are evolving creatures. The way I was at five years old was not how I was at 10 years old and again at 15 and 20 and 25 and so on. Each five years my friendships changed my body changed my mental state changed my ideas changed.  I would assume this holds true for you too.

We are full of change. And the one thing that most people fear is change. Change is inevitable. I don’t fear change. I embrace it. InfactI learned about this a long time age through much amazing research.  I loved the concept and I practice it. And because I embrace it I I’m not showered with anxiety when it comes to change. In fact when I’m shocked by some form of change, I allow myself the luxury to feel this shock. I let it rattle my body. Then I become curious. I notice what it does to me physiologically and then before I know it, the entire incident experience and idea. Is already in the past.

Even if it’s five minutes in the past. The truth is I’ve already walked away from it and whether I need to make decisions or take actions. That’s okay. I do what I need to do. So why does one sibling resent and despise another.

SILENT TREATMENT

Are they born with that? Or do they learn it? I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever. Why is there one happy day today and in two days time we experience the silent treatment. In my view the silent treatment isn’t very silent at all. It’s very loud. It’s like a silent loud tantrum or killer.

When you live with somebody and they decide to give you the silent treatment it doesn’t feel good. It probably doesn’t feel good for the person giving the silent treatment either. Or perhaps it’s a matter of how each party decides to respond to react behave and absorb it.

I know that if a stranger was to give me the silent treatment I probably couldn’t care less. I may wonder why and then I maybe blame them. But when it’s a sibling and you know one fine day, they are talking and laughing with you, and the next fine day they pretend that you do not exist…I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

I guess that can teach you to do the same, or it can teach you to never become like that.  Or it may teach you to try it out, discover how bad it can feel, and decide never to become that.  Nice lesson from experience.

INVITING FEAR

I guess after that’s done and compounded day after day, year after year, month after month, the victim sibling tends to learn that this may be coming any minute. They may learn fear and anxiety.

ANXIETY: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER 

Isn’t it horrible to know that you could feel so secure inside your own home, as I know it. And as I have children I’d like to know that my home is a place of safety, and yet for some, they come home and they wonder who’s talking and who’s not, who’s yelling and who’s not. I was lucky I did not grow up in a household where there was any yelling at all.

I don’t remember my mom yelling nor my dad. I’m grateful to announce that I myself don’t yell. I have other faults though.  

WE ALL HAVE A STORY TO TELL

I’m also proud to announce that I look back at my childhood, and I can really remember the most amazing happy wonderful memories. Were there ugly days, weeks, and months? Absolutely. Do I care, and did I carry them to adulthood? Not at all. They’re just part of my story I’ve placed them on my timeline, and that’s all they are.

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOUR PAST

As we can all agree you can’t change your past. You can’t change your family. But you can definitely change your relationship to your past. And I most definitely can change my relationship with my family. 

BEAUTIFUL GRIEF

My father passed away not long ago. Amazingly, I was so curious to see what it would be like, what my grief would be like. I’ve experienced the most beautiful grief with my father. I never knew grief could be so beautiful. I have an amazing relationship with him after death. It’s one of peace, and no judgement.

I see the good that he tried to do. I remember the words that he spoke, the way he announced that after his death he will try to be as fair as he can with his last two wishes. 

Perhaps I guess we’re all human beings troubled by challenging moments disturbed by evil presence here and there.

But I guess we can only ever do the best that we know at any given time, with the resources that we have available. So what is it that can make some siblings so evil? 

Why is it that one sibling wants to hurt his father even after his father’s passing?

GREED: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

I guess that’s something I’ll never understand. But I can only guess. I can only suggest one is evil. When one is driven so much by money… Greed. And yet he has money. Surrounded by such misery.

That proves no matter how much money you have. You can really be in a dark hole. But what if you weren’t evil with intention. What if you did not try and steal and betray and manipulate?

If they are the reasons for your depression and your anxiety, taking anti-depressants isn’t going to make you feel better.

Perhaps you should remove the manipulation, the deceit, the evilness, and forgive yourself and try to make a better life. It’s amazing to witness one to become old, dark, pale and evil. And his actions can be so predictable. 

SIMPLICITY

It’s amazing to see. While someone like can smile can have a beautiful life can be happy with five dollars or fifty dollars. There are ways to handle the stress of adult sibling rivalry.

FREEDOM

To know that one can run outside, breathe fresh air, look up at the sky, watch a bird fly past, be greeted with warmth and love inside their home. And yet not so far away could be another individual, who has created a dark home a living environment influenced, created, manoeuvred by evil thoughts and jealousy. 

So what makes siblings so different? They are born from the same mother and father brought up in the same home.  I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.

YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

Of course we can’t blame their friends. Morals and ethics are in the home. Parents try and teach each child to love and respect. Why is it that one sibling will find twenty dollars and give it to their parents (and say… you must have dropped this) and the other sibling will find twenty dollars and say that’s mine (and or say they lost more). 

It’s amazing to watch how we are all different creatures. Perhaps there’s good and bad in all of us. Some get really good at being bad. Some of us become really good at being good through challenging times.

STAYING GOOD

I can produce my best version of myself, even if confronted with evilness and opportunity. I know how to remain within my boundary of good morals and good values. There is nothing on this earth that can turn me into a bad person.

I know that if I was to try to do something in spite, or to do something in revenge, like an ‘eye for an eye’ it will not make me feel good. Yet that approach makes others feel good. What’s the difference between them and me?

I WONT BE PUNISHED

I know I’m not built for ‘tit for tat’, or for revenge. Or to teach lessons, otherwise I myself will be punished. If I dare to do anything wrong to somebody I know I am not the person responsible to teach lessons. I am not the person responsible to judge.

My job is strictly to be a good person under every circumstance and every challenge. And so I dare not do something evil to anybody else because I will be punished. How will I be punished you may wonder? I will be punished because I will not feel good inside.

The punishment will land inside of my chest. And I won’t feel good inside. The punishment will keep me awake at night and I won’t feel good inside. Punishment is not worth it. 

JUST BEING GOOD

All I need to do is be a good person. And I’m proud to say that right now, I’m as good as I can be.

I am more grateful for the challenging experiences that I’ve endured in recent times. It only proves that I know how to try handle myself. I feel sorry for anybody else who is with evil intention.  I wonder if they stay awake at night.

BE AWARE: SIBLING RIVALRY HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EVER

I can only wonder. But it’s not for me to judge. Life is what you make of it. And I’m making a beautiful life. My message to you will be – be aware of what happens. There is far too much that you cannot control. You can only ever control your responses and reactions.

Enjoy your life. And if you need to set boundaries then you do. Just make sure that whatever decision you make, doesn’t cause you any ill feelings on the inside. Set your soul free. Forgive. And be the best version of you.

I think sibling rivalry has been around for ever and WILL still be around for ever.  Oh my how it colours families.  What have parents done to deserve that?  Even death cannot stop it.  

So to the siblings out there who have fallen into the role of sibling rivalry…its just one huge party.  You decide which parties you attend.  

Amanda Dounis

Positive Thinking Clinic

1/7 Magdalene Terrace

Wolli Creek, 2205

0458 850 850

amanda@positivethinkingclinic.com.au

www.positivethinkingclinic.com.au